Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
