is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
