i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Less talking, more tequila
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
