I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
