I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
