At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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