I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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