All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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