I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize