WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
