I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
