I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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