8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
