I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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