Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
