That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
