I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
