You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
