This house was built for laser tag.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
