Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
