guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
