I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
