I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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