Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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