I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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