We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
