While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
