yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
