yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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