You're so nebulous sometimes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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