I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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