I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
