i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
