office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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