office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
