Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize