Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
