I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
and you fell through a lawn chair
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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