yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
