I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
