I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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