She announced her abortion via fbk
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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