WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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