We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
