Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she told me i tasted like america
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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