escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
