apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
