i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
