dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
