I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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