belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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