don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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