So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
