escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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