i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
