what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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