dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
