Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
