He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
