the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
