If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
