i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
