So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
