you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
God, I missed his penis.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
