She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
